Is Valentine's Day Over-Commercialized?

Letter From A Hater.

First of all…..all lovers should fear me this Friday

With that being said, let’s get into it.

According to my wide research i.e ChatGPt and the first page of a Google search result page, money bouquet originated from Asia, and was purely decorative. People wanted to see what they could do with money, and how it could be folded into beautiful and delicate shapes.

It was purely an expression of creativity, nothing more. But all the way across the ocean, in beautiful Black America, women were yelling at their men asking them why they couldn’t be romantic and get that “Asian money thingy” for them.

Poor men. They were already probably dealing with gangster violence and how to push their dope. Now they had to be romantic to please their women.

Anyway, it became a constant in Black America, and before we knew it spread like wildfire. Because of course, it’s Black America, and it’s dollars.

Halfway across the world all over again. Women in Nigeria, with cheap data and a huge sense of romance looked at their Black American counterparts and thought “Femi is this not your mate sending money bouquets to their girlfriend? Am I a plantain?”

And sure enough, Femi got a mouthful. Adanna told him how tired she was of his cheap “chocolates” and annoying fake roses. She wanted more.

Poor Femi looked at his account balance, and determined to impress his babe, withdrew his last 10k and roped his poor friends into making an Asian-themed bouquet. But of course they are men and they have no sense of flair or finnesse , so they end up fucking it up and Adanna is pissed. She breaks up with him, because she cannot marry a man who can’t even string two pieces of naira notes together.

Femi is devastated, and heartbroken that he has lost his love.

Now Adanna's friend, Gloria sees this playing out in front of her, and as the entrepreneur that she is, she sees an idea. As she comforts Adanna while she sheds hot, mucosal tears, she starts to formulate her business plans. She won’t be caught unawares.

Next Valentine comes, and Gloria is more than ready. After consuming a shitload of Asian money-stringing videos and Black American tutorials and serenren, she is more than ready to start her business. She gathers all her coins, uses a sledgehammer to destroy her Piggyvest kolo (because honestly, which woman doesn’t have a Piggyvest) and moves all her money. She manages to strike a deal with an Alhaji to be supplied new notes, even though the whole country is on the prowl for cash, Gloria, in all her glory gets flushed with notes and she starts to craft her package.

She sells out so fast she can’t believe her eyes. Even women were ordering for their men. She has to deal with customers fighting her asking why the package is sold out. She is in a frenzy, trying to find emergency cash to get quick bouquets. She has added chocolates and cookies and all these other beautiful things, so it’s a full business

Gloria takes a step back and measures profit, and she starts to wonder. If people are this crazy over money bouquets, shouldn’t this be elevated from a side hustle to a full business?

Thus the industry is opened, other ladies see how Gloria sold out, and they start to draw up a massive business plan for themselves too.

Valentine’s Day has always been a big deal. We love love. And Val Day is a symbolic day for lovers.

In secondary school, they told us the story of Valentine, how St Valentine was jailed for marrying people illegally. It makes sense, only an Italian man can do that. They are that romantic.

For Valentine's Day, the focus is usually on romantic love, but there‘s still a segment that preaches all forms pf love. And for us in school then we did a ballot picking where we gave out gifts to a secret val. Sort of a Secret Santa basically.

Now it’s well and good, except there seems to be a drastic change over the years.

With an increasingly changing dynamic of how we view relationships in this part of the world, one thing we can’t deny is this: Our relationships are deeply transactional. Visceral transactional.

Cook my food and give me sex, and I give you money. Give me money, and I shower you with love.

Of course, things are changing. Women are changing the world now. They are making more money and are not fazed by men’s money anymore.

But we are still a deeply religious society, and with that comes the expectation that the man is the “provider” and “leader”

Which translates into Val. The man must lead with the gifts, and the woman is allowed to give boxers and singlets, and nothing happens.

Fair enough sha, because men’s underwear are very expensive.

But I can’t help but notice that there’s a big Val industry blooming in Nigeria, which is weird to me because aren’t we all struggling in this Bulaba-ed economy?

First of all , there’s now a big emphasis on romantic relationships. We are getting older now, and we are seeking out the bone of our bone.

The idea of having the “one” for you is sooo appealing. The person that gets you. The one that God removed from your ribs for you.

It’s nice to dream about, and when we finally get it we are elated.

So love is a big thing for us.

Hence the ever-growing Val industry unfolding before our very eyes.

Someone said Love is a commercial concept invented by capitalists, and nowadays I find myself agreeing more.

Primitive? Maybe.

But think about it. Talks of Valentine's Day started in early January.

Early January.

I saw the first tweet around Valentine's Day on January 10. We hadn’t even come down from the euphoria of celebrating the new year.

And as the month moved along, more and more tweets started surfacing around the big day, and by the 20th of January lo and behold, I saw with my two eyes the first ad for a Valentine package.

For something that’s 3 weeks away??

The crazy part? There was an option for instalments.

I was baffled. Shouldn’t love be a “take me as I come” thing? If I buy 2 Fab and 1 Viju Wheat shouldn’t you love me more because that’s what I could afford?

When I was in school Val was a big thing. We were always serenaded with stories of how this Engineering student bought a Benz for his babe. Or how this guy got the latest iPhone for his woman.

And it used to baffle me because I feel like with it comes some sort of pressure.

At the risk of sounding like a broke, stingy nigga, the idea of grand gestures irks me. Why must I do this big thing to prove I love you?

With these things come some form of expectation. Let’s not deny it. The standards are quite high. Particularly for men.

Which to me explains why we are already getting Valentine packages by mid-January for a celebration that’s in February.

With installemtal payments too.

And most of these packages are women centred too. Only recently did we see packages probably made for men too.

Packages are made with women in mind, and they often involve portrayals of grand gestures that don’t take into account our introverted girlies.

And over the years we have seen that this industry has evolved beyond niche packages. Businesses are now joining the charade. Evryr business around the corner now have thier valentine packages .

Gadget stores, skincare brands, perfume brands, even shopping malls and foodstuff vendors.

Everyone has a package, and it makes sense because they know people will buy.

Is it innovation

Now I don’t have a problem with gifting your lover, but I find it hard to believe that everyone wants chocolates and roses and cookies. Some people want books. Some want lube and a teddy. Some want solar inverters and generators

You know….variety.

Valentine is very subjective. During the cash crunch of 2023, a man gave me new notes, and I almost asked him out. I like to believe cash gifts were the bonds that glued relationships that period. But now cash is everywhere, and if you are foolish enough to give your partner raw cash as a gift, sure they will accept it, but that relationship is probably over.

So the standards change with time. Saw someone say

What kind of bar is this?

This is what I want for Val sha

Anyway, I love love, and I love how people go all out to celebrate Valentine's Day. I just hope we don’t forget the essence of what it signifies, and place too much focus on the grand gestures and the Instagrammble moments.

That being said, happy Valentine's Day. Let me go and meet my own babe a.k.a my mum and ask her what we are having for dinner.

And if you are scracthing your head trying to figure out what the point of this post is. Me too my love. Me too.